Solange, Shawty Lo and Luke Cage Made It A BLACK Friday

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What has transpired in the last 24 hours is a whole lot of black! 

Solange has given to us a new album for which I am and will forever be eternally grateful.

I haven’t watched Luke Cage yet but from what I’m hearing it’s black as hell.

Luke Cage is now streaming on Netflix and Shawty Lo has somehow found his way to the strip club. 

Oh, I’m not joking. I know Shawty Lo passed away in a tragic car accident last Saturday but I also know that there are folks on Snapchat who happen to be at Blue Flame in Atlanta where a hearse just pulled up with the body of L-O dey know in the back. Because the only true Atlanta way to show someone you love them after they die is to take their corpse to their frequent turn up spot – and off to the strip club they went. 

Now that’s a black ass thing to do. You can disagree but you’d be a lying ass if you do. Let me tell you the second most black ass thing to do when it comes to funerals: Taking photos of folks in their caskets. The streets are saying Shawty Lo’s funeral was open to the public (mistake #1). People ain’t got no couth! The same folks who stood over Shawty Lo’s casket and fake cried while they pulled out their phones to take photos are the same folks that didn’t spend enough time in time-out as children. Should’ve given them 20 mins instead of 5! Look at them out here acting foolish as adults; taking photos with Shawty Lo like they’re at a meet-and-greet after one of his concerts. He ain’t gone sit up and sign autographs! I don’t know why people are so damn rude. If your grandma knew you were doing this she’d tell you to go find her wooden spoon quick! 

You don’t act like this at someone’s funeral. You fall over the casket, sit down, pass out and repeat, just like us normal folk do. Damn you for doing prison poses in front of someone’s casket! Now go grab a MLK fan from one of the ushers and sit down because you’re staying for the whole service. Thought you were going to do a photo-op and dip?! 


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And I want to know what happened when Shawty Lo made his last stop to the strip club. Did they take him out the hearse and carry into the VIP section? Did they order chicken wings, private dances and bottles for the pallbearers? Did the festivities in the inside stop so everyone could come out and pay their respects? And I know you want to know too, because just like me the cloth you’re cut from is the same one they make shirts from Rainbow out of. And if you would’ve captured this mess on Snapchat I would’ve been the main one asking for your Snapchat name because nosey.

But I also am not ashamed to call your mama and tell her you acting out in these streets like she ain’t raise you right. That’s right I’m telling. I hope she calls you early tomorrow morning and you can’t answer your phone because it fell behind your nightstand and you didn’t have enough energy to pick it up because you were too tired from posing like you were being photographed by Gilles Bensimon in front of Shawty Lo’s open casket and running up in Blue Flame having yourself a good ol’ time in the name of all things Shawty Lo.  I hope she keeps calling too; so you can hear “L-O, L-O, dey know! Dey know!” repeatedly because you decided to save it as your ringtone in honor of Shawty Lo when you found out he passed away last Saturday. 

I pray she gives you a good Black mama talkin’ to and it’ll serve you right.

Next time stay outta dead folks’s business. 

 

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