This White Woman Is Ready To Go To War With The Ice Cream Man

By  |  0 Comments

I watch Million Dollar Listing New York and though it is the business side of gentrification if you’ve seen it you understand the rate at which rich, white people are moving to neighborhoods largely occupied by minorities. There are universal nuances of the hoods across America and one of them is Mister Softee. I’m not saying Mister Softee doesn’t visit the suburbs because I know for a fact that he does – though I’m sure Mister Softee drivers practice the nightly rituals of making rounds in the evenings like they do in urban neighborhoods. 

Mackenzie is a white woman who grew up in the Upper West Side of New York and has made her way to Harlem. There has been one thing that has kept MacKenzie up at night and that’s how to get the Mister Softee driver to cut off his music. Mackenzie has reached her highest vibration of White Woman. She has contacted the police, Mister Softee company, 311, emailed the mayor’s office and the office of Rep. Adriano Espaillat. To get to Super Saiyan White Woman she must demand to speak to Apple Care. reported:

Mackenzie, who asked that we withhold her last name for fear that she be pigeonholed as an entitled white lady whining about her new neighborhood, bought an apartment near Central Park in the spring. “This is generally a really quiet, serene block,” she wrote in an email to Gothamist. However, “The arrival of an ice cream truck in May has totally [ruined] this quiet.”

The Mister Softee truck’s proprietor likes to stop in one of three spots from around 7:45 to 9 p.m., according to Mackenzie, and when out of sight of cops, he plays his music so loud that she can hear it in her apartment from a block away. This is despite a provision in New York City’s elaborate noise code that makes playing the truck’s jingle while parked illegal, punishable by fines of $350-$3,000.

To make matters worse, according to Mackenzie, “No one seems to be willing to do anything.” The first time this happened, she recalls, “I went down and said to him, ‘Would you mind turning off the music?’ He looked at me and he was like, ‘What are you talking about?'”

She continued, “I said, ‘It’s illegal for you to have your music on anyway, so could you please turn it off?”

His response: “Fuck off.”

At this, Mackenzie retreated. The next time it happened, “I went down, and he just rolled his eyes.”

Unfortunately, Mackenzie hasn’t grasped the fact she has become the “victim” of Nobody Gives A Fuck. This is an example of “There are much bigger things in the world to worry about”. Mackenzie seems to be in distress and it maybe because White Privilege is working against her. Minority New Yorkers are accustomed to white folks moving in to their territory and trying to extinguish the essences of their neighborhoods because it doesn’t fit their Caucasian lifestyle. 

Mackenzie has two choices she make up choreography to the Mister Softee song or she can move.

A-five, a-six, a five-six-seven-eight! 

Website Apps